i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
