no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
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his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
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Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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