She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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