this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
