My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
