he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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