We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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