As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
