Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
