Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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