Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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