I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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