just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize