You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
