Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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