having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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