Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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