Grow some girl-balls and come out already
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
