I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
