we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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