the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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