He is like the real live version of the state fair..
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
