if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize