In the future we'll all be gay
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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