I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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