My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Randomize
