he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
