Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
