I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
