is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
