I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I have fence marks all over my body
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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