Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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