My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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