i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
