i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Holy shit dude........stairs
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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