We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
