ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
