Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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