All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
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It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize