Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
