So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
