Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
