is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
