Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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