My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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