fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
