Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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