I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
