ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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