U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
