Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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