it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
