would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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