And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize