what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He felt like a one man threesome
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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