So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
