Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
