I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
