Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
