Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
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Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize