She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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